Sometimes, my nose bleeds for concerning periods of time.
It being the first week of classes, I guess my nose was all "oooh, now would be a super good time to explode," because last night I was video chatting with my friend, and she was drawing this great portrait of me(which I will be sure to post when it arrives in the mail) thus making me laugh. And the Nose of Great Assholery did bleedeth so.
I was outside at the time, and as I looked at the shiny, red grass, I decided it would probably be an opportune time to go freak some people in the library out by waltzing in and being like "HERPHERPMYNOSEITBLEEDS." So that's exactly what I did. I kept my video chat open, because I thought my friend would want to see.
I then bursted through the doors of the library, literally dripping face-blood all over, and I very calmly asked if there was any way they could direct me to the place one should go if ever one's face exploded. They frantically called security.
......AHAH ok that sounds really bad, but here the Security staff are basically the people who do everything 24/7, whether it's making new ID's or driving people up to the first aid office.
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He told me to walk up to the first aid office, which is additionally the mailroom, and wait for him there. I hung up with my friend, and walked up to the mailroom to be greeted by a nice man with a trash can and a large roll of paper towels. He told me reassuringly that he was training to be an EMT, and even though they hadn't covered nosebleeds yet, he could easily put me on a stretcher, so I shouldn't worry too much.
So there I was, hunched over the trashcan, with some severe nasal hemorrhaging going on. After about 20 minutes had gone by, and the Nose of Great Assholery persistently continued to flow in copious amounts, they called the nurse. By this point, it was 2:30 in the morning, and she said to wait another 15 minutes, and if it was still bleeding, to call her back. We called her back.
About 15 minutes and an entire box of tissues later, the nurse arrived. She was this super sweet lady who just looked at me as I sat hunched over the mostly-full trashcan and smiled sympathetically. After looking at the amount of blood in the trash can, she thought it was best to take me to the ER, despite my very apparent wishes to just wait it out.
We arrived at the local ER at 3ish. It really wasn't a bustling joint, but through the paper-thin walls I could hear the cries of agony and the multiple heavings of this one woman in the very back. Truly heartwarming.
Anyway, then things started to get better, because the doctor, who was also, I may add, one of those Young and Very Attractive People, took me to the back room. Of course, he proceeded to examine the inner parts of my nose with tweezer-like appliances and bright lights, and then shoved unpleasant amounts of numbing-medicine-soaked-cotton up my right nostril, which made the whole experience considerably less sexy. I think the high point of the night was when the medicine dribbled down to my lip and made it numb, so I literally started uncontrollably drooling when he was in the room.
Anyway, I got home at like 5 am and so I a great excuse to skip my morning classes, which are consequentially VERY DULL. I actually have doctor's orders not to exert myself for a few days. I could think of worse things.
Super fun times, guys. Real great.
--Jules
It being the first week of classes, I guess my nose was all "oooh, now would be a super good time to explode," because last night I was video chatting with my friend, and she was drawing this great portrait of me(which I will be sure to post when it arrives in the mail) thus making me laugh. And the Nose of Great Assholery did bleedeth so.
I was outside at the time, and as I looked at the shiny, red grass, I decided it would probably be an opportune time to go freak some people in the library out by waltzing in and being like "HERPHERPMYNOSEITBLEEDS." So that's exactly what I did. I kept my video chat open, because I thought my friend would want to see.
I then bursted through the doors of the library, literally dripping face-blood all over, and I very calmly asked if there was any way they could direct me to the place one should go if ever one's face exploded. They frantically called security.
......AHAH ok that sounds really bad, but here the Security staff are basically the people who do everything 24/7, whether it's making new ID's or driving people up to the first aid office.
.jpg)
He told me to walk up to the first aid office, which is additionally the mailroom, and wait for him there. I hung up with my friend, and walked up to the mailroom to be greeted by a nice man with a trash can and a large roll of paper towels. He told me reassuringly that he was training to be an EMT, and even though they hadn't covered nosebleeds yet, he could easily put me on a stretcher, so I shouldn't worry too much.
So there I was, hunched over the trashcan, with some severe nasal hemorrhaging going on. After about 20 minutes had gone by, and the Nose of Great Assholery persistently continued to flow in copious amounts, they called the nurse. By this point, it was 2:30 in the morning, and she said to wait another 15 minutes, and if it was still bleeding, to call her back. We called her back.
About 15 minutes and an entire box of tissues later, the nurse arrived. She was this super sweet lady who just looked at me as I sat hunched over the mostly-full trashcan and smiled sympathetically. After looking at the amount of blood in the trash can, she thought it was best to take me to the ER, despite my very apparent wishes to just wait it out.
We arrived at the local ER at 3ish. It really wasn't a bustling joint, but through the paper-thin walls I could hear the cries of agony and the multiple heavings of this one woman in the very back. Truly heartwarming.
Anyway, then things started to get better, because the doctor, who was also, I may add, one of those Young and Very Attractive People, took me to the back room. Of course, he proceeded to examine the inner parts of my nose with tweezer-like appliances and bright lights, and then shoved unpleasant amounts of numbing-medicine-soaked-cotton up my right nostril, which made the whole experience considerably less sexy. I think the high point of the night was when the medicine dribbled down to my lip and made it numb, so I literally started uncontrollably drooling when he was in the room.
Anyway, I got home at like 5 am and so I a great excuse to skip my morning classes, which are consequentially VERY DULL. I actually have doctor's orders not to exert myself for a few days. I could think of worse things.
Super fun times, guys. Real great.
--Jules
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